Together At Last
by Janie3
Summary: (Finished!) Elena wanted the one thing she couldn't have....a baby. Complications arise with the arrival of the one person bringing back the memories she thought she'd put behind her....Damon.
1. Information for Together At Last

Title: Together At Last  
Author: Janie   
E-mail: SwtAzSugar46@aol.com   
Rating: R  
Based on: VD   
Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries. They belong to LJ Smith and other   
companies.  
Warnings: Swearing, Brief/mild sexual content in some parts, not enough to make it worth a higher rating of N17, but as a forewarning to those who do not wish to read such things.  
Feedback is _ LOVED _. Read and reply. Thanks! 


	2. Memories

Elena looked up from where she lay, glancing over at the sleeping form of the man next to her. The early morning sun cast a glow through the blinds on the window and the light shone onto the bedspread making lines from the blind slits. She heard the crickets outside the window, and she smiled in the still dark of the bedroom. _"Stefan. Oh Stefan. How much we've been through and still we're together and happy."_ Elena thought to herself. Love surged through her and she stroked his soft black hair, as he lay next to her, his arms around her petite waist. How she loved him. Love seemed too small a word. He stirred at her touch, but he still lay asleep.  
  
Memories flashed through her mind. The first kiss they had shared, back in Virginia at the boarding house. That night in the clearing, when she'd been so blissfully joyful, just to be alive, to feel the air on her face, the grass between her fingers, to hear the birds' sweet songs. Oh just to breath again had been wonderful. But then the magnificent wonders had to end as she realized that everyone in Fells Church besides her friends thought she was dead. She could never tell her aunt or her little sister Margaret she was alive. How could she? So she and Stefan had decided to find a place of their own, while her friends back home could come visit.   
  
When she had died she'd been a vampire. When she'd come back, well to say the least things had changed. While Elena wasn't a vampire, she was still immortal. The blood switch between Stefan, his brother Damon and her had still left traces of immortality, yet she needed no blood to survive. It was strange, yes, but with all she had been through, it seemed almost normal. Now in their house in a town located in Pennsylvania, with Stefan everything seemed perfect. She had eternity to spend with her husband and eternity to share his love.   
  
God, she loved him. They were soul mates, a match never to be broken. Not even death had kept them apart. They were meant for each other and that was all that mattered. Once, she had almost chosen Stefan's brother Damon. It would be a lie to say she didn't love Damon, because she did. But she'd put him in the past. Stefan was her life and she didn't want to imagine an eternity without him in it. As far as she knew he'd be with her forever and she'd never give him up, for anyone. As she watched his chest rise and fall she sighed. Life was perfect, she'd tried so hard to put everything that had happened two years before behind her. Most of the time she focused on the present and put the past to the back of her mind in some far unreachable corner of her brain.  
  
Stefan shifted again and Elena planted a soft kiss on his forehead. His eyes fluttered, soon opening and he smiled. His beautiful lips curving, and his brilliant green eyes, the color of emeralds, gazed back into her own unique lapis-lazuli colored eyes.  
  
"Morning sweetheart," she whispered. Stefan moved so he lay on his back.  
  
"Mm, sleep well?" He asked her.  
  
"Yup. I hope you did," she replied softly.  
  
"I dreamed of you," Stefan told her, grinning. He propped himself up with one hand, leaning on his elbow.  
  
"Oh really? Better have been me and not some other more beautiful woman," Elena teased.  
  
"Of course it was you, silly. No one else radiates more beauty then the women I'm looking at," he told Elena, moving closer.   
  
Elena smirked, leaning down, and kissed his soft lips. She didn't break the kiss until she felt she'd burst if she didn't. Pulling back, she lay her head on his chest, her blond hair spilling over him, her head moving up and down with his breathing rhythm.   
  
"I love you, Stefan."  
  
"I love you, too, Elena. I always will, you know that."   
  
Elena lay there for a few more moments before she sat upright, pushing the sheets off her. She draped her long legs over the side of the bed and rose. Stretching she stifled a yawn.   
  
"I'm going downstairs, I'm going to make myself some coffee. Relax for a bit okay?" She told him.  
  
"I'll be down in a minute. I want to take a shower," Stefan stated.  
  
"All right," Elena said, and walked off into the hallway, down the steps and then to the kitchen.  
  
In the kitchen Elena sat at the table listening to the shower water from upstairs. An empty coffee mug was in her hand, and she got up and sauntered to the sink. There were a few dishes in the sink, left over from her dinner last night. Of course she had been the only one who had actually ate.   
  
"Might as well wash these now," Elena mumbled to herself, picking up the blue sponge lying in a sink of soapsuds.  
  
By the time she had finished, Stefan was bounding down the steps. Elena stood at the sink still, a china plate in one hand, and a dishcloth in the other. He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist again, and she put the dish down on a dish rack.  
  
He swayed her back and forth and she smiled and leaned back against him. She saw his reflection in the mirrored image in the window above the sink where she stood. His black hair was still wet in some places, while others were drying into wavy tufts of hair. He had on a cream colored loose fitting shirt and a pair of black jeans. He looked extremely handsome, like always. He smelled clean too, like soap and shampoo.   
  
Her mind began to drift, returning to the frequent nights of endless pleasures when they had made love for hours. She fought the many feelings the memories gave her as she shook her head wistfully as she thought of what she wanted so desperately.  
  
"Stefan, I want a baby."  
  
There was a pause in the rocking motion. Silence intervened.  
  
"I know. But you know that's not possible."   
  
She knew they could adopt, but that's not what she wanted. It wouldn't be the same. She wanted to feel the way a mother feels when she has life growing inside of her. Life that she helped bring into this world.  
  
Stefan brought his chin down to the crook of her neck, resting it there.  
  
"You know Bonnie would love that. So she could teach it some psychic stuff Alaric has washed into her brain now that he's been doing tests on her."  
  
Elena let out a small laugh and smacked her husband playfully with the dishcloth. "Stefan!"  
  
"What? You know ever since Meredith and Alaric got married, Meredith told you she didn't know what the man loved more: Her or his parapsychology."  
  
Elena's smile then disappeared as suddenly as it came. "But we can't. Oh, Stefan." She sighed heavily.  
  
"I'm sorry, you know I would like a baby, too. I'd make a pretty good father, don't you think?"  
  
"Of course you would. I think, Mr. Salvatore, you'd make a wonderful father." She smiled gently.  
  
Stefan brought his chin up and rested it on the top of her head, once again starting to sway her back and forth.   
  
"Baby or no baby, I'll love you," he murmured, kissing her lightly on her head. 


	3. The Visit

The crow soared over the quiet town in Pennsylvania, with its early morning sereneness. Its feathers reflected the suns light, casting rainbows across it. Then it landed, swiftly and gracefully on the soft plush ground. The bird shifted, changing shape, forming into a male human's body. Once transformed the man was gorgeous. He had looks to stop cars going 60 miles an hour on a freeway.  
  
With thin, shiny black hair the same color as the bird's feathers, exquisite black eyes that seemed to go on forever and at an average height, the man was perfect. High cheekbones, a perfectly shaped nose and gently curving lips, on a face that revealed no emotions.   
  
He was built and wore a simple black short sleeved shirt, black jeans, a pair of expensive looking black boots and to complete it all a black leather jacket, which he had picked up off the hood of his black Ferrari. The jacket wasn't his old one. This one was new. He'd given the old one to Elena, the woman he'd once loved.  
  
Opening the door of the driver's side, he slipped in, shutting the door and turned on the ignition. The purr of the finely tuned motor was the only sound as he drove slowly down a block.  
  
_Elena._  
  
Her face appeared in his mind's eye and he sighed. Her lithe body, sleek legs, golden hair, amazing eyes, her curves in all the right places. She was so beautiful, with a fire inside equal to his own. She was the most special woman he'd ever met.... She was his brother's.   
  
"Damn it!" He cursed, hitting the steering wheel with his fist. He was letting her get to him again and he knew the consequences of that. She was the only one he'd let get that close to him and every time he let her in...well, to say the least, he was through with getting close to people.  
  
That summer night last year in the clearing when Elena had come back from the dead flashed in front of him. When she had run to Stefan, and not him. When she had made her choice clear that she'd wanted Stefan the martyr, the saint, the _good_ brother.  
  
It'd made him sick to his stomach.   
  
They had put out their hands, an act of acceptance. Well he didn't want to be like them! He wasn't like them! He was Damon Salvatore. No one else. He preferred it that way.  
  
He'd stormed off, so angry with Elena, with Stefan, with the world. He hadn't seen anyone from Fells Church since then. He'd wanted Elena for himself. There was so much potential in her that would be gone is she was with Stefan   
  
He'd won the round but Stefan had won the game.   
  
He'd known Stefan and Elena had moved to Pennsylvania, he'd watched them since the night in the clearing and made a note of their location.   
  
Damon looked around at his surroundings. House after house, tree after tree, lawn after lawn. Then he spotted it.  
  
It was a house on the corner, a Victorian house, with a manicured lawn, and a driveway with not a single crack in it. On the driveway parked was a black Porsche.  
  
_"Stefan's. So they are home."_ He thought to himself.  
  
The front door wasn't opened, but through a window, with his vampire sharp senses, he could see into their kitchen. Standing by the sink was his brother, arms draped around his wife's body.   
  
Then, angrily, he realized he was jealous.  
  
He made his way up the driveway then over to the front door, slowly and silently. He stood before the large oak door, raised his hand and rang the doorbell. 


	4. Unexpected

"I wonder how Caroline is with her modeling career?" Elena asked Stefan, as they stood in the kitchen, same as before.   
  
"Seems she's getting along well. I just saw her on the front cover of Vogue the other day." He answered.  
  
"At least she's doing good, and Matt and his college courses in Virginia University are all fine I've heard. Strange though, how he chose to stay in Fells Church after everything he'd witnessed," Elena said absent-mindedly.   
  
"True. But it was his choice."  
  
"Bonnie had wanted to go to Boone University, but Alaric had insisted on doing research on her. I wish he'd leave her alone sometimes," Elena mentioned.  
  
"She doesn't seem to mind though."  
  
Meredith Sulez, now Meredith Saltzman, was at Duke studying to be a doctor. Caroline Forbes had never been to college.   
  
"Yes I know, it just bothers me sometimes. Picture her on TV: 'Bonnie McCullough: Free psychic hotline,'" Elena added.   
  
"That wouldn't happen. But anyway, I wish she'd come visit soon. You need to keep in touch."  
  
"We do. I talk to her a lot on the phone."  
  
"Though I don't know if we should yet," Stefan said.  
  
"Please Stefan, you know how much I miss her."  
  
"Have no fear, because you, Elena, always get your way." Stefan teased.  
  
"Well without my unwillingness to give up on snagging you back in Robert E. Lee, we wouldn't be here right now."  
  
She grinned and he ruffled her hair. She leaned up and gave him a kiss. The doorbell interrupted it.   
  
"I'll get that," Elena said, sighing as she pulled away.  
  
She walked down the hall to the front door. Opening the door, she gasped.   
  
"Elena what is it?" Stefan called from the kitchen, alarmed.   
  
She didn't answer.   
  
Elena just stood there, one hand against her open mouth as she realized who stood in front of her. Her blue eyes went wide and she stood frozen.   
  
"Damon." 


	5. Problems

The name rolled off her tongue feeling foreign and unknown, and sent waves of mixed emotion. Fear showed in her eyes, but she still felt excited at his appearance. The dominant feeling was that of fear, like a deer has when standing in a pool of headlights.   
  
"Beautiful day out isn't it, Elena?"  
  
Elena stood frozen still. Time stopped. Mesmerized by his very form standing in the doorway.   
  
  
Damon put two fingers under Elena's chin, tilting her face up to meet his. Their faces were only inches apart, close enough to touch, close enough to kiss.   
  
"I trust you have been well?" he asked.  
  
"Get the hell away from her!" Screamed Stefan who had emerged to see the visitor.  
  
Only now he found his brother, whom he hadn't seen in a year, trying to kiss his wife. The reality and harshness of her husbands cry brought Elena back from the trance Damon had her in. His voice sounded hurt, betrayed. Shaking her head, blond hair flying, she pushed herself away from Damon and ran to Stefan.  
  
Stefan gripped her hand, and they both stared at Damon. He stood there, casually leaning on the doorframe.   
  
"Well, aren't you going to ask me in? I am your brother."  
  
"What? Do you think I'm blind? You just tried to kiss Elena! She's my wife, Damon," he reminded his brother.   
  
Damon smirked. "I was only asking her how she was."  
  
"Who do you think you are? I'd love to wipe that damn smirk off your arrogant face," Stefan spat at his brother.  
  
Before he could speak, Elena cut him off. The feelings that had resurfaced were quickly shoved away and a fierce protectiveness for her husband was there instead.   
  
"You're a damn idiot, that's what you are! I love Stefan not you. I'll never give him up, not for anyone, and not for you! Is that clear, Damon?" Elena shouted, storming over to him.  
  
She reached up and slapped him hard across the face. Or at least she tried to, for Damon's reflexes caught up with hers and he stopped her hand in mid action.   
  
"Nice try," Damon replied.  
  
"You sicken me, you know that? You've changed," Elena told him quietly. "See this? See this ring Damon?" Elena asked him, waving the blue gem ring in his face. "This is a symbol of my love for Stefan. It's my engagement ring, my wedding band and the ring that sealed the vows. But you wouldn't understand vows, or promises would you? You wouldn't understand agreements Damon, because you're a self centered bastard!" Elena cried, shaking with her anger.   
  
She turned and flew up the stairs to the bedroom, slamming the door.  
  
She slid down the door; her chest heaving, and pulled her knees up to her chest. With her head in her hands she started to sob. She couldn't believe this. He'd come back so different. He wasn't the Damon she knew back in Fells Church. He was arrogant back then but certainly not this bad.   
  
Back downstairs, Stefan glared at Damon, who was staring up the carpeted stairs Elena had fled up.  
  
_ "Get out! Get out now, Damon._" Stefan said menacingly. "You've done enough."  
  
"Fine, I will leave. But I warn you, I won't be gone forever." It was the last thing he said before he turned abruptly, left, and with a shriek of the tires, drove away.   
**  
  
"Elena, open up," Stefan said quietly through the bedroom door. He heard her crying faintly on the other side.   
  
Inside, Elena stood up, tears dripping down her face, and unlocked the door. Stefan came in and she fell in his arms. Weeping still, Stefan led her to their bed and sat down, stroking her hair softly.   
  
"Shh, it's okay." He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, as she buried her face on his chest.  
  
"Stefan, why is he so....different? Why did he act so horrible?" she sobbed, her cries muffled against the fabric of his shirt.  
  
"I don't know, Elena. I don't understand either."   
  
"I don't want him to come between us again."  
  
"He won't. He can't, not if we love each other enough."  
  
"We do, at least I hope we do."  
  
"Hope? We do, Elena, we do."  
  
"I only wanted you to get along Stefan," Elena told him softly.  
  
"I'm sorry Elena, that isn't possible. There is no way it can be. We've tried to get him to accept us, but he refused that night last year." Stefan replied.  
  
"I guess he'll just keep refusing. There's only one thing he wants, and it's not to be accepted. He wants me," Elena whispered.  
  
Stefan didn't answer. 


	6. A Plan

Elena moved over to the large window that over looked the front lawn as she stood in her bedroom. Streetlights illuminated the pavement below and few houses were lighted. Cars passed by the house every so often and the voices of people rose up from the streets.  
  
She wanted a baby so bad. She'd always wanted to marry Stefan and have a family. She didn't think it was fair that dream had to get ruined. She leaned her head against the cool pane of glass.  
  
The bedroom door opened and Stefan walked up to her. He draped his arms around her from the back. Elena leaned her head back on his shoulder. He softly kissed her neck.  
  
Then he said quietly, "I have to feed but I'll be home soon. Don't wait up, if you're tired go on to sleep."  
  
"All right. Be careful though."  
  
"Why? What could happen?"  
  
"Stefan, you know. A certain someone...." She let her sentence trail.  
  
Realization flickered across his fine handsome features and he nodded.  
  
"Don't you worry about me." He smiled to reassure his wife. Then with a quick hug he turned and left the room.  
  
A moment later Elena heard the front door shut.  
  
She needed to think and she had a lot on her mind. She moved over to her bed and pulled down the satin crimson sheets. She snuggled beneath them and shut her eyes, contemplating her situation.  
  
Elena's eyelids fluttered open as she heard the door open. First she was frightened, thinking perhaps it wasn't Stefan, but Damon. Only when she saw the door open slightly and Stefan poke his head in did she know who it was.  
  
There was a whisper. "Elena?"  
  
"I'm up."  
  
"Oh, didn't want to wake you."  
  
Shortly he was next to her.  
  
Elena lay in Stefan's embrace, her head on his chest. Stefan smiled at her in the dark, and pulled her closer. Threading his fingers through her hair he watched her.  
  
"I love you."  
  
There was no reply. Elena had fallen asleep.  
  
****  
  
When Elena woke up the next morning she was surprised to see Stefan awake. He grinned at her.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"Morning." Elena sat up slowly, stretching. An idea had occurred to her last night and she had a complicated day ahead of her if she was to go ahead with it.  
  
She padded over to the closet, threw on a blouse and a pair of jeans. Then, ran a brush through her slightly disheveled hair.  
  
"Listen...." She paused, thinking. "I've got to go to the grocery store before it gets too crowded," she lied. "Need anything while I'm there?"  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
"I shouldn't be too long."  
  
"Okay, I guess I'll sit home and do nothing...."  
  
"Stefan!" She shook her head.  
  
He tossed a smile at her. "I'm joking. Go ahead."  
  
"Okay. See you when I come home."  
  
Elena winced as she unlocked the front door and slipped outside. She hated lying to Stefan. But she needed to do this. She needed to get to Damon. 


	7. Things Revealed

Elena had no idea where to start looking. She walked to the woods nearby, and glanced in the trees as she passed. She paused, baffled in where to go.  
  
"How will I ever find him? He could be _anywhere_." Elena sighed. She closed her eyes to concentrate when she heard someone behind her.   
  
"Well, well. Who have we here? The fair Elena."   
  
She whipped around. "Damon."   
  
He stepped closer.  
  
"Damon I need to talk to you."  
  
"What about?"  
  
"Well, for starters.... why you acted the way you did with me at my house. Why were you so....uncivilized? You changed so much, it was if I'd never met you."  
  
"Maybe I have changed. Why would you care?"  
  
Damon was normally so poised, so controlled and at ease. Unless, of course, he was angry.   
  
"Because I care about you."  
  
His dark eyes were trained on her, just watching, as he took another step closer. Some emotion flickered for just an instant in his eyes.  
  
"Damon, I know how you must have felt when I chose Stefan-" Her sentence was cut off.  
  
"No.... You wouldn't," he replied slowly.  
  
"Damon...." She wanted to understand desperately. "Tell me." She whispered, her eyes intense and pleading.  
  
"Are you sure you really want to know?" he questioned softly.   
  
She nodded. "Yes. I'm sure."  
  
He canted his head to the side, his eyes still on her face. He spoke.  
  
"You don't know how much it hurt to see you with my brother, his ring on your finger. I wanted to be the one to hold you, kiss you...." He paused, then added, "The one to make you happy."  
  
Elena was shocked into silence and she was afraid he might stop if she talked.  
  
"When I was in Florence, after you'd died, I didn't want to believe you were gone. I think Stefan figured how I felt. He'd said I could go on pretending that I didn't care but he said he knew better...."  
  
His expression changed, suddenly, and if Elena's senses hadn't been as sharp, she would have missed the look on his face. For that instant, he had looked almost....pained, but it was gone before she could analyze it further.  
  
"Elena?"   
  
She felt her heart constrict. "What?" she whispered.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Elena's mind raced wildly. "What?" she repeated dumbly. Her eyes widened. "You _what_?"  
  
He didn't bother to speak. He knew she heard.  
  
Elena put a hand to her head. "Damon....you just said you--"  
  
His face was pinched, as though in pain and Elena knew it was the same look she'd glimpsed moments before. "I know."  
  
Speechless, she stood there. And, as she watched unable to move, muscles seemingly paralyzed, he leaned towards her, a finger brushing over her lips, his eyes on hers. She felt a flutter in her stomach.   
  
She swallowed, her eyes locked with his as he placed his forehead against hers, running his hands through her hair.   
  
Elena was afraid.   
  
Not of him, but because she felt what she thought would fade. She felt the understanding, the force that she didn't quite understand but drew her to him. A thousand memories came rushing back.  
  
"Well?" he asked, almost too soft to hear.   
  
"Damon," she breathed, lost in the beautiful black eyes that filled her vision.   
  
"_This can't be happening. I love Stefan._" her mind screamed.  
  
Doubt crept into her mind when his lips touched hers, soft and cool like the brush of silk against skin.  
  
Elena didn't move. 


	8. Truth Be Told

Elena's heart was pounding, the sound rushing in her ears. Her mind was still speeding and emotions coursed through her like a raging river.  
  
She didn't know much except that she was enveloped in this kiss, in the wave of need emanating from Damon. His hands were buried in her hair; he had her body pressed up against his, his chest meeting hers, as the kiss continued. It was searing and deep, almost to the point of being demanding. But to Elena it felt...right. She couldn't explain it, couldn't dwell on it, too many things were all ready whirling inside of her like an unexpected storm.  
  
Damon broke the kiss, finally, and stepped back. He was breathing irregular, eyes closed.   
  
Elena watched him carefully. She tried to calm her pulse and her mind. She wasn't prepared for what happened next.   
  
"Elena," he said, "Stefan makes love to you. Obviously."   
  
Elena was taken aback and a flush crept up into her face. "What makes you bring that up?" she managed to force out, flustered.  
  
"I know you want a baby."  
  
Elena swallowed thickly. "And...?"  
  
"And each time you and Stefan make love I know a part of you feels pain because no matter how many times you try, you'll never get the baby you want."  
  
"That's not true... I have never felt anything but joy when Stefan and I are together," she told him softly.  
  
"Be that as it may, but you know deep down inside, you feel a little pain. I know pain Elena. You can trust me on that. Like when my mother died, or when you choose Stefan. I've caused pain, but I can ease pain. I can stop _your_ pain."  
  
"Damon..." she started, honestly unable to think of something to say.  
  
"Elena, when Stefan told you having a baby was physically impossible, what exactly did he say?"  
  
"Well, he said that vampires can't create life. Even with a mortal, conceiving is impossible. And it made perfect sense, however disappointed it made me."  
  
Damon's eyes opened. "He lied Elena."  
  
"He wouldn't lie to me," she responded fiercely.  
  
"He didn't tell you all the truth."  
  
"I don't understand. Stefan doesn't lie!"  
  
Damon looked at her and shook his head. "He did."  
  
Elena felt at loss. "What are you getting at?"  
  
"Vampires are dead, as you know. Therefore, a vampire wouldn't be able to give the child life. It wouldn't be able to grow since immortality is the opposite of aging. Makes sense right? But that's only with _weak_ vampires."  
  
Elena was stunned. Why hadn't Stefan told her?  
  
Damon continued. "When you were dying back in Katherine's crypt, remember I told you to try and live? To use your will? Strong vampires are able to sustain life most of the time. Only if strong enough. I knew you were nowhere as strong as I was, but not as weak as Stefan, because you had fed off human blood: Matt. So I figured, try. But then I could see you weren't strong enough and you were going to die. But now do you see what I'm saying?"  
  
He smiled at her; lips curving into a genuine smile that made Elena's knees feel weak.  
  
"I can give you what you want. I can give that baby life, Elena."  
  
There was a flaw Elena picked up. "But what would I do with the child then? It would realize I didn't age!"  
  
"Then you let the child choose their Fate. Offer to cross them over, to be immortal. Or let the child go if they wish to remain human...."  
  
She thought about what he had said for a moment.  
  
"I can make that child live. I have the power to."   
  
"We'd have to..." Elena couldn't finish.  
  
Damon's voiced became lower as he said, "Only if you want."  
  
Elena's eyes filled up, and tears slowly spilled out onto her cheeks.   
  
"Damon how? What would I tell Stefan? I don't understand why he," her voice cracked and more tears fell, "why he lied to me." She took a shaky breath. "How could I ever go home without Stefan knowing? I couldn't live with myself if he hated me. He would when he found out I slept with his _brother_."  
  
They both said nothing as Elena stood there in Damon's arms; she had no idea what to do.   
  
She wouldn't ever want to hurt Stefan; after all she loved him more then life itself. Didn't she....?   
  
"Maybe he didn't know. I could always tell him how it works, and he could drink human blood, get stronger, and sustain the baby's life, right?"   
  
Damon didn't speak, instead, bent his head and kissed the places where her tears were lying. His arms slipped around her.  
  
Was Stefan the one she really wanted? She wasn't so sure anymore.   
  
Standing here with Damon, there were doubts. Yes, she felt safe and secure with Stefan, and she felt so at home with him, but this was different. She knew how much Stefan loved her and she really did love him, too. But was love always enough?  
  
With Damon life was above ordinary. She felt drawn to him, and she felt he understood her more than Stefan ever could.   
  
He brought out another side of her. One full of excitement and thrills. He'd awakened things she'd never known were inside.  
  
She'd have to tell Stefan everything and about whom the father was when the time was right. And if he wouldn't be the father then she'd come to Damon.  
  
Elena felt an odd sense of reassurance being held by him and she slowly lifted her head from his shoulder.   
  
"So are you willing to let me help you?" he asked her quietly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
She fell into step besides him as they walked slowly to his car. 


	9. New Found Pleasures

She sighed.   
  
Tender kisses placed on her neck, as he nuzzled against her. Smooth hands gliding over her skin. Warm lips against her cool flesh.   
  
Her nails lightly trailing over his back, his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her hands.  
  
The fabric of the bedspread soft against her and the sound of labored breathing and racing heartbeats filled the dark room.  
  
His hands, his lips, left trails of fire along her body. Gazing up, blue meeting black, as she held him to her. Her name being whispered softly into her ear.  
  
Her head fell back into plush pillows, her eyes slowly closing.  
  
"Damon...." She breathed.  
  
He shivered as her fingertips dug into his shoulders.   
  
Their worlds spun as they took each other over the edge. 


	10. Choices

It was a week later and Elena was outside in the woods once more awaiting Damon. She'd come home to find Stefan worried. She'd come up with a fairly good excuse about the store being crowded, needing to run to the bank and several other errands she had needed to get done.  
  
She had debated telling him the truth right away. Now she was glad she hadn't. It had been a week and still after testing with the pregnancy tests in the privacy when Stefan was out hunting, there no result.  
  
She was too angry at the time to be hurt. Betrayed and used.  
  
There was a rustle of leaves and shimmer in the darkness as Damon took form. The moon shone on his liquid soft hair, the hair that she had lovingly run her fingers through only a couple of days ago.  
  
"You lied." Her voice shook with her anger and attempt not to brake down.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard me, you damn liar. You fucking arrogant bastard."  
  
Damon's eyes widened.  
  
" I was a _fool_ to actually believe you. There's no baby. You _used_ me! What was all that crap? Just to get me in bed? Huh? I bet it was! I can't believe--" Elena was about to go on but he interrupted.  
  
"I didn't lie! I honestly thought I had enough power. I wouldn't use you!" Damon stated, his voice rising.  
  
"Oh, I'm sure."   
  
"It was not a scheme to get you in bed, Elena. I wouldn't do that to you!"  
  
"Like I'm supposed to believe a word you say? Oh, all that bullshit about you loving me....Well! That was good-- I must admit. I mean, the way you pulled that stunt, you had me fooled. Really, how _did_ you do it?" She spat, sarcasm dripping from every word. Though she could barely keep the tears back.  
  
Damon was outraged. "How could you think that?" he demanded.  
  
"You don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. It's always been that way. I was ridiculous to think you'd change. I was the stupid one for being so fucking gullible."  
  
"Elena, I did not make one word of that up! I don't know why it didn't work! I thought I had the power to."  
  
Suddenly, she slapped him. A good, hard slap. His head flew to one side, his cheek coloring and rising with blood. Her palm stung but she ignored it.   
  
He turned slowly back to face her. He didn't say a word, didn't even touch where his face was turning a vivid scarlet.  
  
"Stop lying! Just stop it!" she shouted, and the tears came, finally unable to be withdrawn.   
  
The moonlight illuminated her tears making them glisten on her cheeks.   
  
"Elena..." Damon stepped forward.  
  
"Don't touch me!"  
  
He sighed, frustrated.  
  
"Do you realize how much you just put me through? If I had told Stefan what I assumed to be the truth, do you know what that would have done to my marriage?"  
  
She hastily wiped the tears from her cheeks with a trembling hand.  
  
"Don't be like this." Damon told her, pleading.  
  
"Don't be like this?_ How the hell do you expect me to be? I thought you cared about me! I thought you were telling the truth when you told me you wouldn't hurt me! It was another lie and all this was a scheme."   
  
Elena could feel the heat in her face.  
  
Damon again tried to step to her, to calm her. She threw her hands up.   
  
"I said don't _touch_ me. You're filth!"  
  
"I didn't mean for this to happen. And I'll tell you again I did not do this as a plan to get you to sleep with me." His black eyes bore into hers.  
  
"Can't you stop lying for a minute?" she cried. "You're just making it worse--"  
  
"If you'd _listen_ for a minute-"  
  
"Damon, stop. Just _stop_. Cut the crap. I hate your lying and your games." Her voice wavered and she collapsed to the floor.  
  
She landed on her knees as she buried her face in her hands. She started to cry and her anger gradually faded. She wanted this to never have happened.  
  
Damon knelt in front of her. "Why won't you believe me?"  
  
"How can you expect me to? I thought I was getting a baby. I didn't think you would sink as low as lying to get my body." She said, refusing to look at him.  
  
"But I wasn't. I love you, Elena and I treasure that night even if you didn't get your baby."  
  
"I can't treasure it. Not when all it's caused is immense pain from knowing I've just betrayed Stefan." Elena slowly stood up.   
  
Damon's dark eyes stared into hers and he wiped leftover tears from her face. She flinched at his touch.   
  
"Elena...Don't"  
  
"Don't what?" She whispered.  
  
"Don't turn away from me now. Not when you know you love me and know how much I love you."  
  
"How can you say you love me? After what you did?" Her eyes were swollen and red rimmed.  
  
"It wasn't intentional. I didn't know it wouldn't work."   
  
She took a shaky breath. "There was a time when I thought that maybe Stefan and I weren't meant to be together but now I'm not so sure."  
  
"You don't know? Elena sparks fly when we're together. I can feel them, I can practically see them."  
  
"But it's not your ring I'm wearing."  
  
"So you don't love me?"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"Isn't it? Make up your mind Elena. You do. Or you don't. It is not a hard concept."  
  
"Why do you push me so hard?" she fired back. "I can't take this."  
  
"You either want Stefan or you want me."  
  
She whirled away from him. "_Why was he doing this?_"  
  
He read her thoughts. "Because I want you to be mine. But I can't have you if you won't have me."  
  
She was silent.  
  
"So make your choice Elena. Him or me?"  
  
She thought about the electricity that was there when they were together, the sense of completeness. But then she remembered Stefan.  
  
How it felt when he held her, how nice it was when she woke up to see him lying next to her. Her mind raced back to the night last week. When Damon had taken her back to his house and led her to his room.   
  
She thought about what it had been like with him kissing her all night, he'd made her feel totally different as it was with her and Stefan. And his hands, his hands...   
  
Elena shook her head. She leaned wearily against a tree bark. The gnarled bark dug into her head.   
  
She could feel his eyes on her back.  
  
"I choose Stefan," she whispered.  
  
Damon placed a hand on her back and leaned toward the side of her face.   
  
Softly he said, "Fine. Take him if it's whom you want. But when you lay next to him and remember how it was with me, think about how it could've been. Just remember what you could have had. The life we could have shared. When he kisses you, when he touches you, just think about what it was like with me. And remember Elena, just remember you could've had me."  
  
Suddenly she was alone.   
  
She started to cry again. Elena couldn't help it. She had no idea if she'd made the right choice.   
  
Maybe she should have stayed with Damon.   
  
Stefan. Damon. Stefan. Damon. Was it a never-ending circle?  
  
Every time Stefan held her would she really wonder what it would feel like to be in Damon's arms? Every time Stefan kissed her would she really wonder what it'd be like if it where Damon kissing her?   
  
She didn't know.   
  
She wondered if she'd compare everything Stefan did with what Damon had done.  
  
Light filtered off the tree tops and she turned. She was shivering, despite the warmth of the night.  
  
"God, what have I done? Have I made the right decision? Or have I just made the worst choice in my life?" 


	11. Arguments

Stefan sat across from Elena at the shiny glossed oak wood table.   
  
Elena had been thinking for the last three days about what Damon had said. His words haunted her.  
  
Now, as Stefan reached across the table to take her hand in his he told her that he loved her. He told her that frequently and normally she didn't mind because she knew it was true, but now was anything but normal and that was what made it hurt.   
  
As he spoke she clasped his hand tighter as guilt settled in around her heart, and the cup of steaming chamomile tea in her hands began to shake. She tried in vain to get the cup and her hand to stop the tremors before he noticed.   
  
"Elena, what is it?"  
  
Elena looked at her husband and saw only concern in his green eyes that now were a burning fiery green against his pale face. How could she lie to him? She had the impulse to tell him everything...  
  
"Stefan..." She took a deep, ragged breath. "Stefan I have something to tell you."   
  
"_Prepare for the worse_." Her mind told her.  
  
"Yes?" He asked her quizzically.   
  
But she found that she couldn't tell him anything. Yet, she didn't want to hurt him worse by not telling him. She didn't like secrets because the longer you kept them the worse it became when the person you kept them from found out.  
  
"_Secrets all come out in the end, anyway._" she thought.  
  
But somehow she still couldn't bring herself to say the truth.  
  
"Never mind, it's was nothing. Really."   
  
"Are you sure? Elena, I saw your hands trembling. You know you can tell me anything."  
  
"_Not quite. Anything is too much at the moment._"  
  
"Yes, I'm sure. I know I can tell you anything." She forced a smile.   
  
"_Why is everything I'm saying true but at the same time, lies? I love him, but is he the only one? This is like de ja vu. Out of all the choices one must make in life...Why must I make the hardest?_ Elena wondered ruefully.  
  
"Okay. I won't push you then," he said, sighing.  
  
"I wish I could tell you," Elena said, thinking she said it to herself. When Stefan glanced at her sharply, then she realized she'd spoken aloud. She put a hand to her mouth.   
  
"_Oh no..._"   
  
"Elena..."  
  
She got up from the table quickly. The cup of tea practically fell off as she jumped up. Stefan stood as well, a strange look on his face.  
  
"Elena, what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing, Stefan." She said, turning to rush out of the kitchen.   
  
Stefan went to catch her arm, but she pulled away.  
  
"Damn it, Elena. You've never hid anything from me!"  
  
"Please," she begged, "I don't want to argue."  
  
"Then please tell me! I wouldn't push you to tell me if I didn't think it was important."  
  
"It is. I mean it's not. Oh, Stefan! Just leave it alone!"  
  
"We're married! We're supposed to trust eachother."  
  
Elena went to move again but this time Stefan caught her sleeve. She raised her arm to pull away once more but he held her in place.  
  
"Elena," he said simply but sharp.  
  
"I mean it Stefan. Leave it alone and we'll be better off!"   
  
Stefan was annoyed and she could tell. He let go of her arm and threw his arms up in defeat. He had an odd look in his eyes she couldn't place. She knew he _wanted_ to trust her but she also know he didn't at the time.   
  
"I don't know what is with you. You've seemed wary, upset and as though something were on your mind for the past three days. I'm your husband and I think I deserve to know."  
  
"Why won't you just let it be?" Elena asked, her voice raising. She hated fighting with him. She had tears brimming in her eyes.  
  
Stefan clenched his fist, as though he wanted to hit something. Elena knew his temper, remembered the boarding house on Homecoming night, remembered Tyler and his loons half dead in he Quonset hut, and the scene of him and Damon fighting on the wet cold ground because of her.  
  
Something told her to move before his temper flared but she couldn't find her legs.   
  
She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but reflexive instincts won over logic.  
  
Elena took it as a sign to shield her face.   
  
"Stefan!" she cried out.  
  
A look of shock crossed his face. "Oh, God, Elena. I didn't mean it! I don't know what got into me." His hand fell to his side.  
  
The tears had fallen now. She'd been scared. She didn't move her hands from her face. He reached out to hold her and she whimpered. "Elena, Elena, I'm so sorry."  
  
She didn't know why she had been frightened. She knew he'd never lay a hand on her, not intentionally anyway. But all the emotions she'd had shoved and hidden inside of her were beginning to find their way out.  
  
"Stefan..." She said, though the words were lost in the tears.  
  
"I'd never hit you."   
  
She'd taken her hands away from her face and the tears were flowing freely. She wanted to tell him she knew, to tell him that she was foolish to be afraid, that it wasn't the thought of being hit that was making her hysterical. But her head was pounding, her throat seemed to be closing and the tears kept coming. She couldn't make her mouth form the words.  
  
He tried again to hold her, and she stepped back.   
  
"Oh, Elena."   
  
He didn't understand, he wouldn't understand, and she needed to get out and breathe before he lungs collapsed.  
  
"Don't." she managed to choke out, barely audible.  
  
She knew he heard as the look of shock dissolved into a contorted look of pain. For her.   
  
Turning on her heel, she fled out the back door. 


	12. Realizations

Elena stood outside, watching the velvet sky subtly darkening into hues of violet. She was at the local park, which now was as empty as she felt.   
  
Sitting on a peeling wooden bench she put her face in her hands. She was confused and upset, but mostly she was afraid: Afraid of what was happening to her marriage. Afraid more of what she felt inside. And even more afraid of what it meant that she couldn't and didn't want to, give it up.   
  
Elena didn't want to let herself believe he would've hit her, but the more she thought about it the more she wondered. And the more she let herself think the more devastated she got about everything.  
  
The tears had stopped as she ran to the park, but now they started up again. Elena didn't bother to wipe them away. Lost in her own swirl of jumbled thoughts and tears, she didn't feel the presence behind her.  
  
"Why are you crying?"   
  
Slowly Elena picked her stooped head up, sitting straight on the bench.   
  
Shock was the first thing her mind recognized but then aching followed. "Damon..."  
  
He reached out a hand. She gradually accepted it and stood up cautiously.   
  
"What's wrong?" he finally asked.  
  
"Everything." she mumbled softly.   
  
Damon still hadn't let go of her hand. "Tell me." He pulled her into a light embrace.  
  
"Stefan and I argued. He knows I'm not telling him something, and he got annoyed. I've never seen his temper flare at me the way it did a few minutes ago. He was so angry he wanted to...." The tears still pressed.  
  
"Hit you?"  
  
"Well, not exactly...."   
  
"Did he?"  
  
"No..." A tear slid down. "He would never."  
  
He was silent for a moment, just looking at her. "Don't cry."  
  
His voice made her stomach quiver and started a deep longing inside of her. Elena closed her eyes as another droplet fell.   
  
Damon pulled her closer to him and kissed one of her closed eyes, then the other. He kissed her cheeks one at a time, as though trying to wipe away her tears with his kisses.   
  
"Stop crying." he said gently. It wasn't a command. He continued to kiss her face softly; she didn't protest.  
  
Damon pulled her to him completely, feeling her slight figure shaking as she struggled to keep the tears from falling. When Elena had steadied herself he pulled back a little.  
  
"I don't know what to do." Elena told him quietly.  
  
"Come with me."   
  
This brought back memories of standing in Bonnie's dinning room having a "dumb supper." When Damon had come in unexpectedly and asked her to come away with him. She felt another wave of de ja vu.   
  
"What are you talking about?" Elena's voice was still soft spoken.  
  
Damon brought his lips down to her face in another light kiss, this time on her lips. "Just do it." He told her his voice soothing, calm, and yet deadly serious.  
  
"Damon, don't you know how much trouble you've caused already?" Elena protested.  
  
"I beg to differ. Two people caused the trouble, and you were one of them. Come with me." He murmured in her ear.  
  
Elena went to protest, but realized only half of her wanted to go against what he was asking. Damon lifted her chin with a finger and she could only stare. She didn't pull away as his lips met hers in another gentle kiss.   
  
It felt so right.  
  
She felt his cool breath on her face move up to her ear again, as he said, "I can be _very_ persuasive, you know."   
  
She wanted him, and everything he had to offer. Solace, completeness, love, passion....   
  
She brought his head down to hers and kissed him with everything she had in her. Her lips pressed against his, almost demanding, as the kiss became searing and fervent.  
  
This time she wasn't going to make excuses as she had all that time back in the clearing when she'd waken up from "drowning". She wasn't irrational, or disorientated.   
  
There was no use in denying it. She wanted him. The fire in her had been dwindling. He was the match that rekindled it. 


	13. Another Night

Her skin, soft and pale, was illuminated in the light from the window opposite the large bed, glistening in the moonlight.   
  
She held him to her, his groans muffled against the skin of her neck. Her fingers gliding down along his back; damp with perspiration.   
  
Both their cries breaking through the otherwise silent bedroom as she threw her head back. His teeth just barely nipping at her neck, her shoulders. His lips, silky and cool, as they met the rise of her chest.   
  
Whispering soft encouragement as her legs tightened around him. Their breathing erratic.  
  
And when at last they both were quiet, her legs feeling somewhat weak, his head resting on her stomach, they both lay in the sweet silence that was the aftermath, comforted simply by each other's presence. 


	14. Final Words

"You _WHAT_?!"   
  
Elena cringed. Stefan was enraged. But she had expected it.  
  
"I've been sleeping with Damon," she repeated quietly.  
  
"My God, Elena! WHY?" he screamed.  
  
She found her voice. "Stefan, you need to understand," she pleaded.   
  
"Understand? What the HELL is there to _understand_?! I think I pretty much get it, Elena."  
  
She shook her head. "I never wanted to hurt you."  
  
Her husband looked about ready to smash the window and snap the coffee table into toothpicks.  
  
She felt hot tears forming behind her eyes and she let them come. "Please," she whispered, desperately.  
  
He looked at her then; her voice seemed to make something click. His face softened slightly.  
  
"Elena, I gave you everything I could, from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul. I gave you everything I thought you wanted. I guess I was wrong. You'll never change. You always want what you can't have. But you got it this time, didn't you?"  
  
Stefan sounded deflated, as though he'd finally accepted the final utter failure his fate was giving him.  
  
"Stefan," she murmured quietly, trying to breathe around the lump that had formed in her throat and the steel hand that seemed to be clamping around her heart. "I know you did. And I do love you, Stefan. You have to know that. And I thank you for everything you gave me in life. I swear, if there was any way that I could be telling you this without hurting you, I'd do it. I never, ever, meant to hurt you."  
  
"Are you doing this because I can't give you a baby?"  
  
She shook her head again. "No. I realize that this isn't what I want. You gave me all you could, but it just wasn't enough."  
  
"No. It never is, is it? Not with you, anyway," he told her softly. His eyes looked so lost, his face so anguished and full of longing, as if his very soul was being split in two.  
  
Elena wanted to go to him, to tell him she was making a terrible mistake, to tell him that she loved him still and that she'd been a horrible, selfish woman to do this, but deep down inside, she knew what she had to do. Even if it meant having to hurt him.  
  
"I thought I could make you happy. We almost had eternity. But I guess only a short time was all I got. That's the way it always is. It never changes, does it?" Stefan asked, his own eyes brimming.  
  
"Oh, Stefan." Elena put her arms around him. She held him. "Please forgive me. Don't hate me."  
  
"I could never hate you," he told her, and Elena knew he was crying.  
  
"I'm leaving. I need to, Stefan."  
  
He was silent.   
  
"This just isn't what I need. I know you tried. And for a while I was happy."  
  
"I know. I'm just sorry I couldn't make you happy for longer."  
  
He'd lost her. Again. And this time he wouldn't get her back. It felt like Destiny was playing cruel games with his life. As though he'd been given Elena as just a taste of what he couldn't really have. It hurt like hell. But he knew she'd made her mind up. And God help him, he wouldn't stop her if it would make her happy. He'd do anything for her. If he couldn't make her happy, at least he knew she'd be happy with his brother.  
  
"I'm all ready packed," she replied. He nodded.   
  
He breathed in the scent of her hair, knowing it would be the last time he did. "I love you, Elena."  
  
He'd stopped crying. Elena pulled away and looked at him. She gave him a slight smile, though her lips were trembling.   
  
"I know, Stefan. I know."  
  
"So you're going tonight?" he asked, and Elena knew it was taking everything he had not to break down.  
  
"Yes."  
  
He was silent for a moment, just watching the way the faint light cast by the lamp lit up her hair, the way her lips curved, remembering the way her body felt against his. He memorized every detail of her face.  
  
He felt like crying again. And then, he realized he was.   
  
"You're sure about this?" he asked, some part of him still hoping that she'd take him back.  
  
She nodded. "I'm sure."  
  
"All right..." he said, sighing.   
  
It was over then. This was it.  
  
He gave her another hug. She placed her wedding band in his hand, closing his fingers over it with her own.  
  
What about "till death do us part"? His mind asked. Then he realized he was dying. Without her he was dead.   
  
He had half a mind to get on his knees and beg until she'd come back to him. But instead, he was letting her go.   
  
"Good bye, Stefan. I'll come see you, I promise." She turned to leave.  
  
"Elena?"   
  
She paused. "Yes?"  
  
"If things don't..." he paused, voice wavering, then tried again, "If you ever decide that you're not happy..."  
  
She shook her head one last time. "I will be," she said. Then, "Thank you."  
  
He was startled. "For what?"  
  
"Everything." 


	15. Together At Last

Elena placed her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and her head rose with the steady rhythm of his breathing.   
  
"I love you," she told him.  
  
He ran his fingers through the golden hair that was fanned out on his chest. "Don't ever stop," he replied.  
  
She laughed lightly and the vibrations of her laughter felt nice against his bare chest. "I won't."  
  
"Elena....  
  
"Hm?" One hand was resting on a pillow beneath his head, the other against the right hand side of his face, the fingers of that hand in his hair.  
  
He paused, taking a breath. "I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" Elena was puzzled, her eyebrows drawing together, creating a crease in her forehead.  
  
"For ever hurting you and treating you bad back in Fells Church...and here, as well."  
  
"Shh...." she placed a finger over his lips. "That's in the past."  
  
"I know I can be an arrogant bastard."  
  
"I can learn to live with it."  
  
He smiled in the dark. "Good."  
  
"Forever," she whispered, kissing his neck softly, "begins tonight."  
  
They lay like that, as the breeze drifted through the curtains, his arms securely around her, and the fingertips of one hand running along the smooth skin of back.   
  
She closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep, as she relaxed into his embrace.   
  
She'd found what she needed. The flame inside burned brighter now.  
  
And they were together at last.  
  
  
FIN. 


End file.
